Thursday, December 18, 2003

SO THAT'S WHY SHE CAME

Our Lady of Guadalupe is the patroness of the Americas, and is a very strong devotion throughout Latin America. Thus, particularly in Mexican and Central American areas you will see many depictions of her. These include shrines in Texas, Louisiana, Kentucky, Mexico City, as well as hundreds of small parish shrines (including at St Alphonsus).

I was aware of all of this when I went into a small Korean-owned hat shop a few blocks north of our house last weekend. I had seen the place before, but it was always closed. It looked like the kind of place that would have the sort of merchandise I have come to appreciate for its absurdity. For instance, I have a hat with the Seattle Mariners logo, on the front, but the word "Twins" stitched on the rear. My buddy Mope used to have a hat that read "Montana State Grizzlies." Not so funny until you know that Montana is the Grizzlies, while Montana State is the Bobcats. In any case, I walked in. Stacked floor to ceiling were hats of all kinds and belts. Everyone in the place was Korean except me. This looked promising.

I rooted through stacks of blank baseball caps, baseball caps with major league logos, but Japanese written on them, baseball caps with "East Side" on them (I figure those sell particularly badly, since the East Side in Chicago is mostly Lake Michigan), and Mexican League soccer team logos. I found a nice Puebla Camoteros hat that I liked and got ready to leave. Then it hit me. It is a black hat. In the middle is the Virgin of Guadalupe surrounded by roses. On either side of her in Gothic script it reads "Viva La Raza." At her feet on the bill are two 1962 Chevrolet Impalas, one red, one black. It is beautiful, and obviously the reason the Mother of God appeared to Juan Diego. "Juan, one day, I want to be on a hat with a couple of six-deuces rolling at my feet…" By the way, the Friday before I found the hat was the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe (cue X-files spooky music).

KILL ALL THE LAWYERS

Tuesday George Bush said that Saddam Hussein deserves the death penalty. In light of this, while I am sure that Saddam's eventual trial will have all of the bells and whistles of due process, I am sure glad it will b his court and not mine. That has kangaroo court written all over it. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy, but it would still be nice if we could preserve the sentencing debate for AFTER we have a trial.

IMPULSE BUYING

KPIX in San Francisco reported that an accordion bus swerved out of control in San Francisco and smashed into an adult book store. Now, I understand (oh *I* understand) impulse buying, so I present to the driver a number of tips for controlling impulse buying. Feel free to utilize these when purchasing porn videos or DVDs, marital aids of both the battery and plug in variety, and other goodies at the adult book store.

1. Do I really NEED this?
2. Is this price reasonable?
3. Is this the best time of year to buy?
4. If this is a bargain, is it a current model?
5. If it's on sale, is the price a true sale?
6. Am I sure no less expensive item can be substituted?
7. Am I sure there are no major disadvantages?
8. If excessive in price, will it truly satisfy an inner need?
9. Have I comparison shopped for price and quality?
10. Have I allowed for this item in my spending plan?
11. Do I know the seller's reputation?
12. Does the seller offer any special services with this item?

I think that the answers to 8 and 12 could be of particular value for the bus driver.

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