Friday, October 03, 2003

Today is the anniversary of the Wiedervereinigung (reunification) of East and West Germany in 1991. Therefore, if you tried to call Germany today, you didn't get any answer because the whole country is closed.

THE PERFECT ACCOMPANIMENT

Last month I had several links regarding beer. Well, the cold weather is coming, so what goes great with beer? Chili. The Minneapolis Star-Tribune ran an informative piece (registration required) about chili yesterday that is worth a look-see. Now this is not hard-hitting news, but it will keep you hip as you drive cross country eating chili (with the windows open, presumably).

Important chili-related trivia to impress your friend(s) with from the article:

• Chili was apparently originated in San Antonio, Texas.
• Chili is American, not Mexican (which is redundant to point one above, but I repeat it for the geographically challenged).
• There are no beans in Western or Southwestern chili.
• There are beans in Eastern chili.
• Chicago is an Eastern chili city.
• Cincinnati chili, which includes beans, also includes cinnamon and allspice, as well as chocolate flavors. Over spaghetti it is two-way, with spaghetti and shredded cheese it is three way (no jokes from the peanut gallery about having a three way), with spaghetti, cheese, and onions it is four way, and with all of that plus kidney beans it is five way. Kate and I have had Camp Washington chili in Cincinnati, and everything over four way is too much.
• "Chili" is the finished dish known as chili.
• "Chile" is a pepper (or a country, I presume).
• "Chili powder" is a mixture of ground chile and other seasonings.
• "Chile powder" is ground chile.

What the article is completely lacking is the advice from L's mom. A little brown sugar takes the patoot out of the beans. On a long car trip that could be the best advice in the whole article.

MASTERS OF THE OBVIOUS

The Boston Globe achieved Master of the Obvious status by reporting that the Pope is ill. The man is 83, has Parkinson's disease, and has held an extremely demanding job for 25 years. However, the Archbishop of Vienna (Austria, not Virginia) was quoted as saying that the Pope was in the last weeks or months of his life. A moment's reflection should make clear that we all are, it is just a matter of how many months. Still, this was considered news. The one really good part of this article was a quote by the Pope's secretary of 25 years, and newly minted Archbishop Monsignor Stanislaw Dziwisz who said, "Many journalists who in the past have written about the pope's health are already in heaven.'' I'm sure many of them are, but where are the rest of them? Also, don't you think this guy needs to buy a vowel?

BUT IT'S SO INEXPENSIVE!

The Detroit News Auto Insider yesterday carried a story about counterfeit auto products. They pointed out that counterfeit products damage companies that make the real thing, and cost manufacturing jobs. However, the great part of the piece is the list of examples they have seen of counterfeit goods. This reads like something from a Simpson's episode.

• A fire extinguisher filled with flour. Apparently this actually feeds fires… I can see Homer actually shooting this into his mouth. "Mmmmm. Fire retardant."
• Brake linings made of compressed grass, sawdust, or cardboard. Well, the good thing about these is you should know you got counterfeit goods about two stops after you pull away from the mechanic. Yeah, I can see Homer making these in the garage.
• Transmission fluid that is actually dyed cheap oil. Oh yeah. This has Homer all over it. I see him adding the dye, putting it in the car, brushing his hands together and saying "done, and done."
• Filtering components on oil filters that consist of rags stuffed inside. This is SO Homer I don't even have a comment.

The article also says that some of these companies have copied products, then proposed joint ventures with the legitimate producer. I guess they feel like they have a lot to offer. I mean, they've already proven they can pull a MacGyver and make an oil filter out of a peanut, a rubber band, and a rag…

THE NATIONAL PASTTIME

I have not written about my beloved Cubs being in the playoffs. This is because there is nothing more to say. Without reservation, I want desperately for them to win every single game. Thus, there is nothing to write. Still, at least I am in the Chi and get to see the games. The Christian Science Monitor has an op-ed piece from a Cub fan who moved to Rome (Italy, not New York) before this season started. It is very funny, and worth clicking over to. Anyway, it seems that Roman efficiency has kept him from getting his DSL hook-up, and a friend's SKY satellite was also, um, impeded by Roman efficiency. Finally, he had the following exchange with a sports bar owner, " You are going to play the playoffs and the World Series," I said. "Certainly," he said, with a typical Roman smile. "But if the games start at 9 p.m. in New York, that's 3 a.m. in Rome," I said. "Yes," he replied. "So what time do you close?" I asked. "2 a.m.," he replied. "So how will we see the Series?" I asked. He shrugged. There but for the grace of God go each of us…

Moving further south, the subject of the Astros and mold naturally dovetail in a story today from The Nation's Finest Newspaper. As a side note, the article is written by Dino Cappiello of Houston, Teaxs. Yeehaw, that was some might fine ravioli! Anyway, apparently the retractable roof at Enron, er, Minute Maid Park is covered in mold, bacteria, and other assorted germies described by a public health official as "the sort of stuff that grew in my dorm refrigerator." Now, I know what my dorm frig looked like, and that's nasty. Anyway, it couldn't happen to a nicer team.

YES, BUT WHAT ABOUT GODZILLA WARNINGS?

The Japan Times had an interesting story about the partial failure of the tsunami prediction system after last week's earthquake off Hokkaido. It was a partial failure because the system warned people, but predicted waves of 6 meters (about 18 feet), while the actual waves were 12 meters (about 36 feet). Nevertheless, there were some fascinating items in the story.
• Japan has six regional tsunami information centers, which monitor offshore seismic activity. When a quake or undersea landslide occurs, a supercomputer program is used to make wave predictions based on epicenter and magnitude. Alerts can be issued within minutes.
• Unlike surface tides, tsunami can travel at great depths and at speeds of up to 800 kph. As the water becomes shallow, the waves, slowed by the upward slope, rise higher.
• In 1993 a 30 meter (approximately 90 foot) tsunami hit an island killing 200 people.
• One of the earliest recorded tsunami was a wall of water that leveled the building around a giant statue of the Buddha in Kamakura, Kanagawa Prefecture, in 1498.
• Japan's most devastating tsunami in recent history struck in 1896, killing more than 21,000 people.

Pretty amazing stuff.

BUT DOES HE STILL BEAT HIS WIFE?

The BBC ran a story about Arnold Schwarzenegger under the headline "Arnie Denies Admiring Hitler." Whatever you think about Arnold, this is the headline equivalent of asking him if he still beats his wife. I would expect this of the Houston Chronicle (aka The Nation's Finest Newspaper), but not the venerable BBC.

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